My Dental Surgery - 4-26-11

Hudson, My Love,

Today you have surgery. My baby. I am not sure if was harder on you or me. There is nothing worse in this world than to see you in pain. It's like I had dental surgery. The doctor may have well pulled my tooth.

As I mentioned awhile back, during your first dental appointment, we found out that you had an abscess in your front tooth. The dentist explained that the tooth could not be saved and it had to be pulled. This was hard news to take. Mostly, because I did not want you to have to feel any pain.

Your surgery ws at 12:30. You could not have anything to eat or drink and we thought that was going to be hard, but it wasn't as bad as we thought. The idea was to keep you busy. We took you to the Natural Museum of History to see the dinosaur exhibit. You LOVE it. The dinosaurs are huge and you stood and stared at the T-Rex for awhile. You had a blast. It was Daddy's first time at the museum, so you were kind of showing him around. We have been there enough so you know the place well.

It was time to head to the dentist. I was nervous because I knew you would be getting a shot soon and I just felt so bad! We told you that we all had to go to the dentist to get our teeth checked. You seemed OK about it. We went into this holding area with lots of toys and a television. You were looking at a dinosaur book and playing with some of the toys. The anesthesiologist, Dr. Brian Henderson, came in and asked us questions and talked told us exactly what he was going to do. He was a very nice man. I had so many questions and I was so nervous. I went out of the room and spoke to the dentist, Dr. Kogut, and told him my concerns about the appliance. Daddy and I labored over whether to put an appliance (a veneer) in your mouth or just let you go with one front tooth. I was really worried that it would bother you and you would just want it out. You are very particular Hudson. We decided to put the appliance in your mouth.

Dr. Henderson told us he was going to give you a shot in your leg that would make you sedated. Then, they would put and IV in you and put you under local anesthesia. There would be no way to get an IV in a toddler without calming him down first. My poor baby was sitting there reading a dinosaur book when Dr. Henderson kneeled down to talk to you, but you were not having it. You knew something was up immediately and started cryinf. Daddy was holding you and I was trying to calm you. He gave you the shot and you were balling. I was so upset but staying strong. Within literally a minutes, you were sedated, you just had this blank stare and I lost it. Completely lost it. I was crying so hard. Daddy carried you into the operating room and gently placed you in the chair (I didn't see any of this. Daddy had to tell me). Meanwhile, I was in teh holding room balling. The nurse brought me a box of tissues and told me everything was going to be ok. Then, Daddy walked in, was strong and tried to calm me. He hugged me and told me that everything was going to be alright. I finally calmed a bit and then walked into the main, front waiting room. The nurse came in soon after to let us know that everything was going smoothly. It was comforting.

Finally the surgery was over. Everything went smoothly. Daddy and I went into the operating room and there was my baby, consciously under, laying there with his mouth open, no movement. Oh, it was hard to see simply because you are life, you are full of life and energy and vigor. Yo never stop moving. We carried you out to the car, Dr. Kogut and Dr. henderson came to the car with us. They were so sympathetic and sweet until the minute we had you buckled up.

First Trip to the Dentist 4-5-11

Hudson, my love,

Today you had your first trip to the dentist. There was good news and bad news. The good news was, you had fun with the receptionist. So, it started out well. He was so great with you and showed you books about bugs and dinosaurs - you loved them. More good news: you were really nice for the nurse. You let her clean your teeth and brush them. I was floored! I thought you would go crazy the whole time. The bad news was, you freaked when the dentist, Dr. Kogut, came to check your teeth. You were screaming at the top of your lungs and you did not want him to touch your mouth whatsoever. I tried to calm you down and even get you to watch "The Land Before Time" on my i-phone, but you were not having it. I felt so bad for you. There was something about the dentist that you did not like. I have been preparing you for our trip to the dentist for awhile. "Dino Dan" even has an episode where he goes to the dentist. This really helped. There was more bad news...

While you were still upset and freaking, the dentist takes me into this office to deliver bad news. He tells me you have an abscess on your front big tooth. If you are looking at your face, it is the right, big tooth. A dental abscess is an infection of the mouth, face, jaw, or throat that begins as a tooth infection or cavity. Needless to say, I was about to break into tears and I was mortified. I was having this intermittent conversation with the doctor, you were screaming and crying and I was receiving bad news. Not a good moment. My heart was broken, because I felt like it was my own mouth, my smile. You are apart of me. The dentist explained that the abscess had gotten so bad, that the front tooth will have to be removed. This was like a bomb dropping on me. Your smile is your thing -it's gorgeous, and it still will be, but losing that first natural tooth, that first baby smile, broke my heart into 50 pieces. We we can get a veneer for aesthetics if we choose, an I am sure we will. At this point, I am shocked and saddened, but trying to hold it together. We were just coming in for your first dentist appointment. The nurse came back with a treatment plan and it was all real...

Hudson, we will get through this together - you, me and Daddy. It could have been worse and THANK GOD that it was nothing more. You are going to loose your beautiful front tooth, but you will get a permanent one someday. We will put a veneer in there so that when you get a little older, you will feel better about it. I don't even think you will notice now. Heck Hudson, you would look handsome with no teeth in a burlap sack, you are such a beautiful little boy. The dentist said you are really too young to notice, but you notice everything. You are so particular. You don't even like tags on your shirts, underwear and shorts. So, I am nervous about the veneer, because it has a wire that goes around your back molars. The dentist said the biggest problem is when kids pull down on it. It can get loose and you will have to go back to dentist to fix. We go in for your surgery on April 26th at 12:30. You can't have anything to drink or eat 6 hours prior so that will be challenging. An anesthesiologist will put you under for over an hour and this breaks my heart, but we must do it. The dentist will pull the tooth, finish looking at your teeth (You wouldn't let him today) to make sure nothing else is wrong and make an impression of your mouth, all while you are sleeping. The dentist said there was nothing I could have done to prevent this. He said you could have even gotten it when you were a baby, crawling around and banged into your front tooth. He actually said the only thing I could have done was put you in a room with foam padding and not let you out. Daddy says this will just be many injuries we'll have to go through with you. He is right. Hudson, you are so fearless. You will do anything. Sometimes, it makes ma nervous wreck! Please promise me, you will always try to be careful in your endeavors? Remember your mommy when you are about to do something crazy. I love you so much and I am constantly going to be worrying about you Hudson, the adventurer. You are my heart beating.

We will get through this like we will get through everything else. I will be right by your side and so will daddy. This is just a bump. Bumps build character and make you who you are. Boy, I have had a lot of bumps!

I love you amore, Mamma