Bye Bye Boppys 2/6/11

My Baby,
OK, this is a toughie. Mommy hurts for you. It is so very difficult to see you lose something so important and comforting to you. You love your "boppys." When I say, love, I mean LOVE. They are a source of comfort for you and they even make putting you to bed easy. You can't wait to get into your crib to get to your boppys. Lately, you have been calling them "boppas." You have been sucking on boppys since you were about a month old. I remember going to the drugstore and I bought like five different ones until you took to one style, and you did.

I thought I would get rid of them by your first birthday. Everyone said it is easier early on, but your first birthday came and went and the boppys were still with us. Then, I said, "By 2, we have to let the boppys go." Your second birthday came and went. At this point and very early on, you only used them for sleeping. I would not allow you to take them out of your crib, so honestly, I saw no harm in letting you have them as your special comfort item and there was no harm. I would do it again. Babies have a natural tendency to suck. It's mother nature. So, as your life went on during your 2nd year, Daddy and I knew the boppys probably had to go by your 3rd birthday. The thought of taking them away was unbearable. You truly love them. You have always slept with two. You hold one and suck one and you will exchange them over and over. You would climb in that crib and they were like a drug! I kept saying to Daddy, "I so hope this takes its natural course and he gives them up on his own." Daddy has been mentioning the "boppy fairy" for months. We have told you that you are a getting to be a big boy and the boppy fairy comes and takes them to babies in need. Also, I had kept the same two in your crib for a long time. They were getting old. You had been wearing them out and biting on them. They were getting holes, which makes them less appealing.

.....and so, a few days ago, you completely tore a hole in one of them. I had put you to bed and you kept saying, "Mamma, Mamma (you do this every night after I finally say night night, I love you and leave)." I went in and you said, "Mamma, one of my boppys broke." I said, "Baby, I am so sorry. We don't have any more. These are the last two." You were not happy about this. I said, "Baby, you can hold that one and suck on the other one that works."

The next morning I walked in and we said good morning and you looked at me with the saddest, sweetest face and said, "You can have this boppy. It doesn't work." Oh, my heart broke!

The next night, we were reading books before night night and you said, "Mamma, I don't want the boppy fairy to come." Again, broke my heart. So sad!

You slept with your other one for a few nights and it was breaking. You were about to rip a massive hole in that one too. You said to me before night night, "Mamma, we can go to the store and buy two more boppys." Truly, it was hard not to give you one right there, but I held strong for you my love. We went in your room and you said, "Mamma, I am not going to sleep with my other boppy either." You sounded so defeated. I was so sad for you. I gave you a pep talk and told you that I knew how much you loved your boppys and I knew how hard it was, but that this meant you were getting to be a big boy. I also told you that I had boppys when I was younger and I loved them too, but I got to be a big girl and I did not need them anymore. (Mamma actually sucked her thumb until she was very old. Don't ask what age. Your Gidi and Siti put yucky stuff on my thumbs and I finally stopped sucking them! Poor me!).

My love, loss is never easy, however, it is a part of life. This was a major loss for you. Probably your first big one and so my heart was breaking for you. I know in my heart that it was the best thing for you and that you had to let them go. I was happy it happened naturally. Sometimes, you have to let the things go that you love. It is not easy, but it is the best thing for you. You always grow after a loss. You learn and you become stronger. I found a beautiful quote for you:

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~Kahlil Gibran

Kahlil Gibran is a Lebanese American poet, writer and artist born in 1883. He is chiefly known for "The Prophet," which he wrote in 1923. I want you to read this when you are older. It is a series of philosophical essays and it so beautifully written. Gibran is the third best-selling poet of all time, behind Shakespeare and Lao-Tzu and he was Lebanese, like you and your Mamma's side!


This was taken February 13, 2009. You were 10 months old. We were on an airplane, on our way to Colorado Springs. You looked like such a big boy already. You always looked like a little man. Your boppys were key on airplanes when you were younger!



This was June 27, 2008. You were 2 months old. Look at my baby! Beautiful, sweet, an angel from above. I remember that outfit so well. Your love affair with your boppys started early. You would fall asleep on the couch with your boppys in that position.

Daddy and Mamma love you so much my love.